Crafting the 3 E’s: Easy, Effortless, and Enjoyable Relationships


Many of us strive for strong, healthy relationships in life. However, it can be challenging to feel easy, effortless and enjoyable is not always easy. Often, relationships require compromise, understanding and conscious work to thrive. So how can we craft bonds with others that align more closely with the 3 E’s: easy, effortless and enjoyable?

Examine Your Expectations

Before diving into new relationships, examining your expectations is wise. What do you hope to gain from this new connection? How do you ideally want the relationship to make you feel? Getting clarity around your intentions and standards is critical. This allows you to approach new relationships from an empowered, conscious position rather than an unconscious one.

Reflect on past relationships that have left you feeling drained versus uplifted. What were the key differences? What boundaries must you establish early on to ensure this new relationship energizes you? Taking time to gain self-awareness helps you seek more accessible and enjoyable partnerships by default.

Lead with Your Authentic Self

A key ingredient for effortless relationships is showing up authentically as yourself. Rather than putting on an act to impress others, dare to reveal who you indeed are. This allows like-minded people who appreciate the real you to be drawn into your orbit.

Getting comfortable with owning all aspects of yourself—including your quirks, imperfections and high standards—will attract people who click more easily with your personality. You can build effortless connections with those who like you for you, minus the pretence. This type of vulnerability and authentic self-expression builds the foundation for easy and enjoyable relationships.

Set Clear Communication Standards Early On

Much conflict and misalignment in relationships stem from unclear communication. We make assumptions about what others need or want without asking directly. Setting clear communication standards early on is essential for smooth relationships.

Voice your preferences and expectations around communication right away. Do you prefer phone calls over text? Do you need a heads-up before making plans? Do you need a lot of quality time together, or do you crave more personal space? Whatever your standards, express them sincerely so there are no surprises down the road.

Knowing your communication styles, needs, and boundaries early on makes it easier to uphold them effortlessly as you continue getting to know someone. It also showcases whether you’re genuinely compatible based on how well they can meet your standards. Open, honest and discreet communication is vital for uncomplicated relationships.

Practice Unconditional Positive Regard

Coined by humanist psychologist Carl Rogers, “unconditional positive regard” is the ability to view someone positively no matter what they say or do. Unconditional positive regard can work wonders in relationships by creating space for vulnerability, understanding and effortless connection.

Rather than reacting defensively if your partner shares something you disagree with, seek first to listen and understand their perspective. Leading first with empathy rather than judgment allows others to feel safe opening up around you. As a result, they’re more likely to extend empathy back, forming a nurturing cycle that keeps communication easy even amidst conflict.

Additionally, seeing your partner compassionately during ups and downs builds trust by signalling your care is unwavering. Practising unconditional positive regard strengthens bonds through tough times so you can continue enjoying each other’s company through thick and thin.

Share Activities You Both Enjoy

The most accessible relationships involve engaging in activities you both relish together. Discover which hobbies, interests and values you have in common early on. Organize shared experiences that allow those mutual passions to take centre stage.

For example, if you both love hiking, make outdoor adventures a weekly ritual. If you both cherish travelling, start brainstorming dream vacations together. Sharing treasured activities breeds effortless connection since you’re in a happy place.

Continually engage in activities that energize and excite you rather than drain you in relationships. Leaning into your collective joys enables more lighthearted bonds, making it smooth sailing. When uncertainty strikes, return to your shared interests to re-anchor what fuels your partnership.


Crafting satisfying relationships that feel easy, effortless and enjoyable is possible for us all with consciousness and care. By understanding ourselves and each other better, communicating clearly, leading with empathy and sharing cherished experiences, we can build connections that help us thrive. The best dating advice involves approaching relationships with compassion, wisdom, and authenticity, allowing the 3 E’s to blossom beautifully.